I think leaders, ministry leaders especially, are constantly dealing with drama.
Trying to figure out the balance between caring for people and managing the seemingly constant bombardment of drama that some people cary with them.
At times we think that if we dismiss someone’s incessant drama we will be perceived as someone who doesn’t care.
We don’t want to neglect those with legitimate need. What I have found to be true over 25 years of ministry is if we allow ourselves to be controlled or caught up by those who continually stir up, participate in and talk about negative things all the time we will neglect those who are in desperate need of our help.
Let’s face it, we want to help everyone and we want to be seen as pastoral so we tolerate those who live and breathe drama.
I learned long ago that there are those who want and need constant attention, and even if there is not a problem they will create one so they feel normal. Their normal is chaos and what makes them feel good is not coming out of the chaos but bringing others into the chaos. They have an issue with wanting emotional control.
The only way to break free from emotional control is to say no.
I will not let you dominate my time.
I will not let you project your drama on to me.
I will not let you suck the life out of me
Have you ever thought that freedom for that person lies within the parameters that others set for them. If there is no demand there will be no supply.
Meaning, if they run out of places to take their drama, the drama will subside.
So when dealing with those who thrive on drama, don’t worry about the accusations of you not caring or loving etc. If we entertain that type of thinking we fuel the fire of drama.
You care most when you clearly understand the situation and act appropriately, and sometimes the appropriate response is no.
It’s this simple don’t let their bondage become your prison. Give them the key to unlock themselves.