Circle of security

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A strong man is a secure man.

Men, insecurity is by no means a women’s issue. It just looks different on a man it’s still just as real. So many men suffer with insecurity and it is one of the major things holding them back.

>It’s hard to be confident when your bound by fear of failure

>It’s hard to be sure footed when your standing on the slippery slope of peoples approval

>It’s hard to be independent and interdependent when you’re emotional bound by needy, clingy feelings

>It’s hard to be in control of yourself when you are obviously so out of control trying to control others because your threatened by them.

>It’s hard to value yourself as a man when your reactions are that of a boy much of the time

>It’s hard to play on a team or lead a team because your jealousy of others precludes the possibility.

You can try all you want to be strong but until we deal with the monster of insecurity in our lives strength will evade us.

Have you ever felt like you were sabotaging yourself?

Do you want to succeed, but you get in your own way?

Do you often feel intimidated by pressure, certain challenges, or certain people?

Do you have a lot of times where what you are portraying on the outside is different than what you are feeling on the inside?

Insecurity is imbed in us through a cycle. First let’s define what it really is, it’s fear. And second lets admit we are all susceptible to it.

Everything begins with how you think.

***if insecurity is fear that is cyclical in nature and creates major perpetual bondage in our lives how do we break the cycle? We break the cycle by creating a new cycle.

Insecurity controls our lives when we inappropriately relate to four basic spheres in our lives.

1. How we relate to God
2. How we relate to ourselves
3. How we relate to others
4. How we relate to our purpose or destiny.

If we relate to these areas properly in our lives it will create a positive cycle of security, confidence, and self control.

1. Relate to God

***the proper way to relate to God is as your father. And not just any father but the perfect father.

Matthew 7:9 (nkj)

In this manner therefore pray, our father in heaven hallowed be thy name

Roman 8:15. (NKJ)

For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear but you received the spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out abba father

James 1:17

Every good gift and every perfect gifts from above and comes down from the father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

***God wants us to view him as a father?

How are you viewing God?
>Great Creator
>Cosmic trickster
>Distant higher power
>Mighty judge
>genie in a bottle

When you truly relate to God as your benevolent father what do you have to fear. This is the first building block of security in your life understanding how to relate to God as father.

**he owns everything
** he’s more powerful then everyone
** he created wisdom
**he has no limitations.

+God your father, is the beginning and the end
+God your father is the first and the last
+God your father shall supply all of your need
+God your father is the all in all
+He is the everlasting father there was no beginning to him and there will be no end.

If this is your father, what do you have to fear?

>What failure is too big?
>What problem is too complicated?
>What person is too intimidating?
>What financial or emotional issue are to overwhelming?

Your father is bigger, better, and stronger than anything.

Who’s your daddy…God is that’s who

2. How to relate to yourself.

James 1:23-25 (NKJ).

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does. (James 1:22-26 NKJV)

***First start with the real you. No facades or faking here. You can’t build on a faulty foundation.

Be real, then be right. Once you reach a place of authenticity then build on that foundation by viewing yourself through the eyes of potential

See yourself for who you are then for who you can be.

>Let the word call you out then keep you in
>Let the word rebuke you and then reflect Christ in you
>Let the word Strip you bare then clothe you in righteousness
>Let the word kill all the pretense in you and fill you with the reality of who God made you to be.

Know who you are and get comfortable in your skin.
>You can’t reflect the opinions others have of you and be secure
>You can’t reflect pressure that life has placed on you and be confident
>You can’t reflect your past and be victorius
>You can’t reflect your friends, family, or environment and be yourself

You must be who you were created to be a reflection of the Son.

So relating properly with God causes you to relate properly with your self. If God is my father than I am his son. And if I’m a son of God I don’t feel the need to constantly prove myself to others, I don’t fear the disapproval of others.

3. How to relate to others.

Every person God brings into my life or puts me in theirs whether positive or negative serves a purpose to push me towards my destiny.

How do you relate to others? (how do you view them?)

>Are they the competition?
>Are they out to get you?
>Are they in your way?
>Are they holding you back?

The proper way to relate to others is to…

>appreciate the role they play
>appreciate the role you play
>appreciate the way God uses others to bring out in you what you were created for.

1 Corinthian 12:12-18 (NKJ)

For just as the body is a unity and yet has many parts, and all the parts, though many, form [only] one body, so it is with Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). For by [means of the personal agency of] one [Holy] Spirit
we were all, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free, baptized [and by baptism united together] into one body, and all made to drink of one [Holy] Spirit. For the body does not consist of one limb or organ but of many. If the foot should say, Because I am not the hand, I do not belong to the body, would it be therefore not [a part] of the body? If the ear should say, Because I am not the eye, I do not belong to the body, would it be therefore not [a part] of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where [would be the sense of] hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where [would be the sense of] smell? But as it is, God has placed and arranged the limbs and organs in the body, each [particular one] of them, just as He wished and saw fit and with the best adaptation. (1 Corinthians 12:12-18 AMP)

You need others and others need you.
They are not the enemy.

Proverbs 18:1 (nkj). He who isolates himself rages against all wise judgement and seeks his own desire.

Relating to God properly causes you to relate to yourself properly which causes you to relate to others properly. Why be insecure with others when you see their role in your life as a benifit not a battlefield

The cycle of security is at work. Offense is being chased out, confidence is rising and cowardice is leaving.

4. How to relate to your destiny or purpose.

How do you relate to your destiny?

>Afraid of failure?
>Afraid of people?
>Afraid of surrender?
>Afraid of sacrifice

Relating properly to your destiny

>Acknowledge that you have one
>It is highly important no matter what it is
>It is not a mystery, it’s in your personality, your gifts and skill set, your relationship with God
>It is where true fulfillment lies as a human being.
>Your destiny and purpose is what God created you for and fits you best and is what He expects your contribution to be.

Relate to God > to self > to others > to purpose.

When I understand God created me for a purpose it cause me to relate to him more intimately as my father. This cycle creates security and confidence in me and chases insecurity out of my life.

>If I know God as my father whom or what shall I fear.
>If I know myself for who I am and can be then I need not fear inadequacy
>If I know the role of others in my life then I need not be jealous or threatened
>If I know my purpose then I need not compare because nothing is greater than what God has created me to be.

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