I recently received a comment on a blog about insecurity, it was a question. “How do I overcome insecurity in my life?”.
As I have already established in other blogs insecurity is nothing more or less than fear. Our fears are based on our own perceptions, what we believe about something. I believe there a four major areas in which we can have wrong perceptions that will establish a foundation for a cycle of insecurity in our lives. I think in order to break that cycle we must change what we think about these four areas.
1. How we relate to God
2. How we relate to self
3. How we relate to others
4. How we relate to our purpose/destiny
Our perceptions in these area can create security or insecurity. The key is to have the right perspective and be purposeful in these areas.
1. How to relate to God.
Many people have a wrong perception about how to relate to God and much of the time it has been because of religious teaching or just spiritual misconceptions. I always like to go to the source. God tells us how to view him in the bible.
Can you see how insecure you might be if your perception of God is skewed. If you believe Him to be a mean spirited ogre waiting for the opportunity to pounce on you for any reason at all. Or maybe you view him as a god with human emotion who is up one day and down the next. There are many inappropriate ways to view Him that will not keep fear out but actually invites fear in.
What is the appropriate way to view Him?
So He said to them, “When you pray, say: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. (Luke 11:2 NKJV)
Jesus tells us to view Him as father.
For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15 NKJV)
Paul tells us to view Him as father, even daddy.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. (James 1:17 NKJV)
James tells us to view Him as father. A good, benevolent, loving father.
I could go deep into this but for the sake of brevity let me just ask you, if you view God as your loving, benevolent, father who knows you best and what is best for you, knowing that He has all power. What is there to be afraid of? When you see God as your dad you need not be afraid of anything. No reason to be insecure emotionally when you know Your father God has your back.
2. How to relate to self.
Note: Many times to break a cycle we must create a new one. A cycle of fear grows and expands in our lives until it overwhelms us. Imagine this cycle of proper perspective at work in your life. Viewing God correctly, causes us to view self accurately and appropriately, which helps us in having right thoughts about others and the role they play in our lives, which enhances confidence in our purpose and destiny in life. When we are sure about who we are and what We are here for it reinforces our perspective of the father who created us for that purpose.
Relating to self accurately is very important. Many people fail to be honest about who they really are. Strengths and weaknesses, wins and losses, goods and bad’s. There is entirely to much pretense in the world today. Authenticity is a deep need in the lives of so many. The reason we must start there is because you don’t want to build on a faulty foundation. If you build on a pretend version of yourself it won’t be long before your identity disintegrates into a pile of rubbish. Start with who you are and then begin to build on who you can be.
For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. (James 1:23, 24 NKJV)
I’ve often wondered what was meant by identifying yourself in the mirror and how that relates to being a doer of the word. Its because when we look into the word of God we see the potential of what we can be, and if we don’t do what we see then we have forgotten who we are.
Security comes when you realize that you may not currently be who you ultimately will be, but you’re not who you used to be. It’s getting comfortable in your own skin, the skin of who God has made you to be. Your identity is in him.
So if you know who you are in Christ and you see yourself that way. There is no need to be insecure because insecurity in identity is simply a feeling of inadequacy. In Christ you are more than adequate.
3. How to relate to others
It’s unreal how much insecurity is birthed out of misunderstanding the role others play in our lives. We get hung up playing the comparison game, or see others as our competition or worse we have a compulsion to attempt to please everyone. All of these behaviors are born out of the wrong perspective about the way to relate with others.
For in fact the body is not one member but many.
If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body?
And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.”
And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. (1 Corinthians 12:14, 15, 21, 26 NKJV)
In these three scriptures we learn a valuable lesson about how to relate to others.
In dealing with others
First, we must appreciate who God created us to be as it relates to whatever He created others to be. No need to compete or compare just relate.
Second, we must appreciate what God created others to be realizing we need their contribution in our lives, whatever that contribution is.
Third, we must learn that we are in this together. Not to please each other or to approve of each other but to combine our lives for the purpose of a greater cause and call.
So security comes when we see others not as the competition or the enemy but as our necessary partner in becoming everything we are intended to be. Your highest achievement is to become what God created you for, not what he created someone else for.
4. How to relate to your purpose and destiny.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV)
Gods plan for us is good, hopeful and filled with the greatest of purpose.
The key to identifying with your purpose is to embrace it. Don’t be intimidated by it, or attempt to exchange it. Rather live it, be it, do it.
When we realize our life is not some cosmic accident, or meaningless journey but it is destined to fulfill a higher purpose, then confidence and security become second nature to us.
If my father is God, whom shall I fear?
If I understand I’m significant in Christ, I’m secure and fulfilled
If I see people as my companions not my competition then I’m settled
If I see my purpose as a good plan from God then life has meaning.
If our perception is right in relating to these areas insecurity will have a hard time being prominent in our lives and we will win the battle over it.
That’s what I have to say, I hope it helps.