Something to Say About Leadership…It’s all about perspective

A great lesson I’ve learned over the years is all people see life through certain filters, or lenses. Our lives are truly a vision of the perspectives we have. Many people can’t seem to get ahead in life, because they see themselves as a victim, so they view life from that perspective. Everything that happens, every relationship, every opportunity, every rejection to them is about the fact that everyone is against them, they are doing their best and people are just keeping them down. It’s amazing what a little perspective change can do. Simply shifting the “way” we see things, can have a profound effect on our lives.

I believe there’s a cycle here. The cycle works this way. We have certain perspectives, view points (the point from which we see things). Our perspectives effect our view, which effects our thoughts. Our thoughts effect our actions. Our actions solicit responses, and those responses bring reinforcement to our perspectives.

Let me give you an example. If a person thinks that others don’t like them, then when they go to pubic gatherings, they are usually reserved, shy, disconnected. This action sends out a vibe that says don’t approach me, so people in response stay back, and this reinforces in that persons mind, “see, I knew people didn’t like me, I should have just stayed home.” Is there truth to this, no. There is no evidence that people don’t like them. They are just stuck in the cycle of fear of rejection, because they have a perspective, for whatever reason that they are not liked. Maybe it was a rejection by a parent, maybe it was betrayal by a friend in their youth. Who knows, but their perspective has them trapped.

On the other hand if you have a person who thinks everyone likes them, their actions speak of confidence and openness, the response is people are drawn to them, and it reinforces their thought, “see, I knew it, every one likes me.”

In either of these situations the fact that people do or don’t like them, doesn’t matter, what matters is their perspective. Because they will behave in ways directed by the way they see things, and their behavior will evoke a response, and the response will reinforce their perspective.

You can see how important perspective is. How do you see your life? What are the filters you see through? What perspectives need to change or even be done away with? If we’re going to lead, then we need to make sure our perspectives are not driven by insecurity. We can’t see the world through fear, and expect to be successful leaders.

There are two places this cycle can be broken. One is in a person changing their perspective, another is in people responding in love to a person regardless of their actions, which can break the cycle and give them a new perspective. Both of these are acts of leadership, and both of these take massive amounts of courage and security. We can do it!

What are perspective shifts you’ve had? How did they effect your life?

Next blog, we will talk about the next step towards security.

thanks
David

Something to Say About Leadership…What is Insecurity?

In life we hear the word insecurity often. We use this word to describe people who lack confidence, people who wear their emotions on their sleeves, and people who are enamored with the idea of pleasing other people.

What is insecurity really? The dictionary defines it as an unsafe feeling. A state of mind characterized by self-doubt and vulnerability. So insecurity is a feeling of not being secure. It is a feeling of being a target for hurt or harm, when you get right down to it insecurity in its true meaning is just plane fear, the fear that we are not safe.

We’ve thought of insecurity as an overly emotional state, immaturity, and a lack of confidence. All these things characterize insecurity. They also Characterize fear. Insecurity simply means I’m afraid I’m going to be rejected. It means I’m afraid I’m going to fail. It means I’m afraid I’m going to hurt. It means I’m afraid to risk. It means I just don’t feel safe.

We can all see how this can sabotage a leader. This type of thinking paralyzes a leader. Keeps them from moving forward. Keeps their focus on their performance not the vision. What we need to do however is remove the mystery from the word insecurity and just call it what it is, Fear. Say it after me. “I am afraid.” We all go through this at different times. It’s what we do in those times that matters. Will we see insecurity for what it is and eliminate it, or will we see it as a small weakness and let it stay. It’s fear, and if you are a leader fear is your mortal enemy!

Fear is the enemy of the leader. That’s the way we should look at it. We need to listen and believe the bible. Romans 8:15 says, “we have not been given the spirit of bondage again to fear, but the spirit of adoption whereby we cry abba father. It says in Timothy, “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love, of power, and of a sound mind. So Fear does the transverse of this passage. It eliminates love, makes us feel weak, and paints us into a corner of confusion. Fear is an enemy to the leader.

We need to understand the power Insecurity and fear can have if we allow it in our lives. What does it cause? If I fear people’s opinions than I can’t lead with a clear vision, If I fear taking a risk, or failing, then I will stick with the status quo. If I fear rejection from people I will be obsessed with my performance and never feel like I’m good enough. It really is a killer of leadership. We must force it out of our lives.

I taught our staff today, on the idea that leading progress requires courage. Its possible to lead and not be moving forward, Moses did it for 40 years in the wilderness. It took courage for Joshua to get it moving forward. God told Joshua in the book of Joshua chapter one, to “be strong and of good courage and not to be afraid” four times. He was getting the point across to Joshua that it was going to take courage to lead to the fulfillment of the dream, to do the right things, to stand against fear itself, and bottom line it takes courage to lead people. It requires us to do the uncomfortable, to confront, and to influence others.

When I was starting out, I wanted everyone to like me. I thought that was leadership. It made me second-guess my communication. I wondered constantly if I was measuring up. It caused me to compete with others in my own mind, and to compare myself with others. I was afraid I would be rejected or I wouldn’t succeed. It wasn’t until I realized leadership is a “stand alone” place much of the time and It takes courage to help people. You can’t help people if you are constantly seeking their approval, because then it’s all about you and not them.

There are ways to defeat this fear. There are perspectives we must have, and perspectives we must change to defeat this enemy. It can be done.

Next blog I will talk about the first way to overcome insecurity, and how our perspectives can create either a vicious cycle of fear, or a victories cycle of confidence.

Hope this is helping you. Please comment on fears you have faced in leadership and how you have overcome them.

-David

Something to say about Leadership

Over 20 years ago I began my journey as a leader. My Journey if far from over. I still have much to learn, and haven’t begin to tap into the true potential that could be realized in my life. I wish I could say that I have reached some sort of pinnacle, but what I have found to be true at the age of forty, is that those who think they have reached the top, really haven’t, but have left themselves no where to go but down.

True, effective leaders are always growing, and developing themselves, and everyone around them. A true leader gives the benefit of their growth to those following them.

I am going to attempt over the next few weeks to blog each day on an issue of leadership. Over the last two decades I’ve read many books, I’ve attended many conferences. I have had the privilege of setting under the ministry of some of the greatest leaders out there and had the opportunity to meet them and set and listen to them.

Over this time I have gleaned enormous amounts of resource, but to be honest this is not where I’ve received most of my leadership “education.” In those settings I learned principles, and leadership thoughts, but it has been in the everyday activities of leading alongside the leaders over me, beside me, and those following me, where I have learned the most. Not because they knew more than the experts, but because we were putting into practice those things we learned.

In this series of blogs I am not going to try to tell you all the principles of leadership that will work for you. I am going share with you experiences in my own life, and in the lives of leaders I’ve watched rise, and fall.

There are things that kill Leadership. Enemies of leadership. Most of them are not external. They are not an enemy from without, but an enemy from within. Pretense, Fear, Jealousy, competition, envy, pride and Greed. All of these, everyone of them, can be summed up in one word, “INSECURITY.” In my mind the greatest Killer of leaders and our influence. Insecurity is sneaky, its often hidden, its always revealed under pressure, and ultimately it will choke the life of leadership out of any leader who doesn’t remove it.

As I write these next few blogs, I hope it will reveal places of insecurity in us and help us to understand there is a way to overcome it. Our leadership can thrive! Our Potential can be realized! We can be Secure, confident, happy, and content, and at the same time very influential.

stay tuned….

Expectations…

I find in life, that much of the time we get what we expect. Especially in dealing with people. People have this uncanny way of responding to each others expectations.

I love the story of the teacher of the year, who was given average kids and told they were cream of the crop, and so she prepared in the summer and came to that classroom with the highest of expectations. She challenged them and pushed them to their limits, the limits of the cream of the crop.

The students responded by achieving great scores, better than any other class including the class of real overachievers. At the end of the year she was told that the kids were not overachievers but academically average, and she couldn’t believe it.

Great lesson to be learned here, we get what we expect. Our expectations cause us to behave in such a way that evokes a response. If our expectations are low, then the results will follow suit, but if we raise those expectations the results will be phenomenal. We get what we expect.

I’m expecting great things, what about you?

Next blog…”overcoming frustration..the difference between expectation and Reality.”

David

“Recieve”

“Receive”….blog I wrote in 2006

If we’ll notice there are times in life that we’re more receptive than others. This should really be a lesson for us. It seems that all people are more receptive when life is brought to its basic simple reality. We live and we die, and then life after death. When people are brought face to face with mortality it’s amazing how receptive we become. I have very distinct memories when I was 20 years old, watching George Bush Sr. Declare war in the gulf coast to save Kuwait from its impending doom at the hands of Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The very next weekend our church which already had great attendance was at full capacity. In our church we could seat about 700 people including the balcony. We usually ran in attendance around 400 adults. That weekend every seat was full including the balcony, it was amazing. People we hadn’t seen in a while were at church, we had many first time guest and they were there to connect with God. People who were once a month or twice a month people all of a sudden became faithful attendees. It was a moment where we were faced with our mortality. Faced with the fact that our lives could change drastically, faced with the question are we safe? The sad part is that although we did grow overall, after a few weeks, slowly but surely people began to go back to their normal routines, God was no longer as important as He was in those moments that we desperately needed Him. I see this every time I preside over a funeral, every time I counsel someone who is in a moment of reality. I saw this Friday night, as I stood on the front lawn of Mitchell Hall on the University of Central Oklahoma Campus, as we honored the memory of an incredible young woman who was a member of our church, Hannah McCarty. They were unveiling a beautiful piece of art in her memory and to honor the scholarship that has been established in her name. What a great honor it was for me to be able to share in that moment. The head of the arts department Dr. Clinton presided over the ceremony, The president of the College, Dr. Webb was there and addressed the crowd, Jack and Pam sent out a clear message with their speech that Hannah’s life was so meaningful and continues to have meaning because of her relationship with Jesus Christ, as they say and I’m sure you’ve seen on city buses, “when you know Jesus the dance never ends.” Hannah was a prolific dancer, more importantly though she was a prolific Christian. I had the wonderful privilege of being the last speaker and had the opportunity to close in prayer. I hope that I represented Hannah and the McCarty’s and our church well in that moment, but most importantly I hope that I represented Jesus well. I simply told the truth. I told the crowd of it seemed like a couple of hundred people, how Hannah lived. She lived life with Passion and on purpose. I said to them she lived life to the full. “Many of us thinking living life to the full is filling our lives up with busyness and things, but she superseded that by living her life as busy as it was, with purpose. It wasn’t just about doing things but it was doing things on purpose.” I said.
I told them, “she looked her obstacles and problems and sickness in the eye, without complaint and simply said, I’m going to live anyway. The reason she had this Joy, the reason she had this peace, the reason she had this purpose, was her relationship with Jesus.” It was a great moment.
The context of this event was interesting, I’m sure that there were several Christians there, but there were also many very secular people there, but it was amazing how receptive everyone was. I didn’t feel a resistance at all as I spoke very clearly about Jesus Christ, I looked out on the crowd, and saw some smiling faces, some somber faces, and some faces caught in the act of introspection. Thinking over their lives, seemingly asking “am I living, really living?” It was a great moment. I am very proud for Jack and Pam, that Hannah was recognized in this way, but more importantly that they have taken a personal tragedy for them and turned it into a day to day ongoing outreach to people, who are getting saved and their lives changed. Pam told me that Hannah always said, I want to be responsible for at least one person going to heaven, and as Pam says, she has impacted many more than that.
It is very telling on us as humans that we are receptive at certain times more than others. It is very revealing when things are going well how easily we forget, how much we need Jesus and how unreceptive we become to His desires for us, and His purposes for our lives. If we could only find a way to tap into those moments of decision and understand how important it is for us to constantly and consistently be receptive to His spirit and His word.
We have been taught to be so cynical. Question everything, don’t believe anything, or believe everything. I don’t suggest that anyone go around blindly following others with no discernment. I think everything we see and hear and are a part of should be ratified by the word of God in us. Let us today make a commitment to God and to ourselves and to our church that we will be receptive. Receptive to the voice of God to His word and to His purpose for our lives. Why do we need to go about our own way until forced by circumstances to change our perspective, lets just keep a holy perspective and reverence for the things of God and watch Him use us to profoundly change our world. I am so grateful that even in our inconsistency and wavering God’s grace is sufficient, and He is not angry with us but longing for an close relationship with each of us.

Grace

Thank God for His grace. Unmerited, undeserved, unearned favor and blessing. His grace is him reaching out to me, and my faith is me reaching out to him. His forgiveness is the ultimate in freedom and his sacrifice the ultimate in love.

I know that in myself, my own efforts, my own abilities whatever they may be, I can not be perfect enough, or right enough or behave well enough to make me truly righteous. Thanks be to God, however who gave his son Jesus, to be the sacrifice once and for all. There is no greater love.

I can not obtain Gods favor or blessing by my efforts, only by my faith, believing in His word and his actions, receiving the gift of grace and righteousness, I can have a relationship with him, that changes me from the inside out. So no, i can not do it by striving with my own effort, but I can become what I should by trusting in Him.

My heart is filled with gratitude today, as i continue to grow in my relationship with God, knowing His heart is not evil towards me but good. He is the loving father to the prodigal son, who never gives up hope that the boy will come to himself and make His way home, only to be received into the loving arms of a father without condemnation. How can we resist such grace.

I love Jesus, and and am thankful for all he has done for me.

David

Relationship is the key

A blog i wrote while in Rwanda april of 2008 and never published….

Relationship is the Key….

We just wrapped up our three days pastors conference, it was phenomenal. Lives were changed. All of our team preached, and taught on many different leadership topics. It was life changing for the pastors and their teams and it was life changing for me and our team. We had right at one hundred pastors representing over 50 churches.

One of the things I taught them is a Jon Maxwell maxim, which is to say, “Leadership is influence, and influence comes through relationship. I have just read Pastor Kirk’s notes for this weekend’s services and that is basically what he is communicating. We can lead, “persuade,” “Influence” others without having relationship.

I love it when we are able to teach something and exhibit it all at that same time; it creates such an authenticity that everyone is impacted by it. I have made some great connections on this trip, and begun some great relationships. I have to say Rwandese people are the most resilient people I have every experienced personally. The team and I were discussing one night about the fact that sometimes we in America have something happen to us in life, and it shuts down our future we cease to be functional people, and here we are standing in front of young men and women, who have suffered the worst of travesty’s and they are praising God, they are testifying of His power. They’re not perfect and they have their issues like everyone else, but they just keep moving. Keep your eyes on Rwanda, God is starting something wonderful. I truly believe what is happening there will impact the world.

Like it does usually when you go to a third world country it brings things into perspective and it makes us realize how good we have it, and reprimands us for whining so much. What I am saying is not to de-legitimize real problems In your life or mine, but it is to say, take a look around, you don’t have to look very far to gain perspective.

I taught on relationship and how important it is, and God set me up with some great new friends. Friends that I will have for the rest of my life, young men and men my age who have a heart to change things. These men don’t think like the average person in Africa, they have a new way of thinking, it’s a new breed. Pastor Jackson, the man who worked as our point person for the Rwanda portion of the trip. He is a go getter by anyone’s standards. I say this without equivocation he would put a lot of pastors I know in the states to shame in vision, passion, faith, tenacity and plain old bull dog persistence.

I won’t try to put all of his stories in this blog, but I will put them in later blogs. They will encourage you and build your faith. I also, met a young man who interpreted for me, he is one of the best interpreters in the nation. He is a brilliant young man named Henry, he has stories as well that will make you want to stand up and shout. I also, began a relationship with a young man of 26 years of age who has a real heart for unity in the church and orphans, he is one. His Dad died in the war in Rwanda in 1990, and his mother died when he was born. He has real compassion on orphans. He has an organization called together as one.

I received the great privilege of speaking a special session just for them. I walked in and wanted them to speak to me. It reminded me of our church. They were all young adults and some teenagers, and they are absolutely passionate about making a change. They are renting an office building themselves and they have three goals. One is to evangelize, use their talents of dance, singing and preaching to impact the globe, many of them are orphans. Second, they are working on getting land and building a children’s home. Third they want to bring Christian Television to Rwanda, and with that host and coordinate big conferences. They have already invited me to bring our worship team and come back and speak in the big stadium which they believe they can fill 20,000 people.

They had such passion, such grace and humility, and they are serious about changing the world. I was so inspired! They are not talking about changing the world, they are changing the world. They aren’t victims they don’t think like that at all, they think it is their responsibility to do something and so they are.

My relationship with them, and theirs with our team and the relationship we built with the rest of the pastors, has given us influence with them, and affected them and us. Relationship is key, and if we are going to reach people, if we are going to lead people in a positive way, we must not be afraid, or threatened, or fear to take a risk to have a relationship.

David

He Cared

As a preachers Kid I grew up in church. Yes, I’ve seen a lot of things; I’ve seen the positives and negatives in people and church life on extremes, most good, but some bad. I’ve seen imperfect people behaving imperfectly. I’ve seen the same thing in families, on jobs, and in neighborhoods that I’ve lived in. It’s human nature.
To help people get into a relationship with Jesus we don’t have to be perfect, non Christian people are not expecting perfection from Christians, they’re just expecting honesty. Wanting us to be true to who we say we are. They are looking for authenticity and sincerity. It’s ok not to be perfect, but it’s not ok to be pretentious.
I’ve seen hypocrisy and pretension at its height in my life growing up, and in my adolescence I was confused about my identity, who I was, or what God really wanted for me. All I knew for sure, I wasn’t going to be a phony or a hypocrite.
I just didn’t understand grace. Grace is the idea that if we choose to live in relationship with Jesus and commit our lives to Him, He will give us the ability and power to live our lives for Him, Grace is the unmerited, undeserved, unearned blessing and favor of God on our lives.
When I was a sophomore I had a turn around. I decided to give my life to Christ. I was lost and self destructing, truthfully my life was spinning out of control, and it was getting worse. (You might say, how bad could it be, when I was so young, but I had some horrible influences outside my family). Somehow God arrested my attention, and so I made a commitment to Him, and began to follow Him. I started bringing friends to church, and they started bringing friends. Many young people made decisions for Christ in our church. We were actually filling up pews with young people.
Most of the teens who made decisions for Christ were coming without their families, so they didn’t have parental support for this new decision. With no support structure they slowly disconnected and left the church. I gave into pressure and slowly disconnected myself, and decided I wasn’t going to live for God.
I never stopped going to church, thank God, because it was ingrained in me, but I backslid with a vengeance. I attended church consistently but was fading off into the spiritual distance and needed help before I would disappear into a future disconnected from God.
Thank God for a friend named Terry, he was the high school Sunday school teacher in our church. He wasn’t perfect, but he cared. Other people didn’t know what was going on with me, and to be honest wouldn’t have done anything anyway, because it’s intimidating to try to connect with the pastor’s kid, whose messed up, but Terry would call me, and ask me to come to his house and hang out with his family. He cared. He would encourage me, or hug me, or ask me how I was doing. He just wouldn’t let up. He saw I was lost, and he knew I needed help. He saw something in me that I didn’t see myself. Terry cared.
One day I couldn’t take it anymore. I just made a decision, “God, I want to live for you, If you care for me so much that you’re talking to Terry about me, than you must have a purpose for me.”, and from that time until now, I have lived my life all out for God, and trying to do for others what Terry did for me. He cared.
So today, find someone, who has never had a relationship with Christ, or maybe someone who is a prodigal like a was, running from destiny, confused about identity, frustrated about hypocrisy and trapped in sin. All it takes is for someone to care. I’m not perfect, but I am living for God today, because my friend Terry cared about me. Who will you care about today? Over Twenty years later I still Thank God for Terry.
I have a terrific family, an incredible church, a wonderful life, and have been blessed to have the opportunity to minister to thousands of people with the grace and love of Jesus in spiritual and practical ways. All because Terry Cared. I can’t imagine where my life would have gone without his influence.
My life is not perfect, but Gods grace is sufficient to give us victory in every situation.

David

Care enough to share

Isn’t it interesting, Jesus began his ministry by relationship building? He developed relationship with twelve men from all different walks of life and for three and a half years shared His life with them.

When something great happens in our lives, we want to tell everyone about it. When we graduate, get married, or have a baby we send out announcements, so everyone will know. What could be more wonderful than having a relationship with Jesus? He has freed us from our sins, He heals our bodies, He restores our souls, and although He is the God of the universe He takes great pleasure in being personally involved in our lives.

We want to share these great things with others. Some of the most rewarding relationships Janae and I have ever had have been when we decided to make a conscious effort to help lead another family to a higher level of living in Christ. It’s awesome to see people grow; it’s incredible to help them overcome problems and watch God work in their lives. This is what a relationship with Christ and His church does in people’s lives it turns them around. Yes, it takes work, and is sometimes inconvenient, but it’s the way Jesus has seen fit to perpetuate the Gospel. He designed it to reproduce through relationship.

It’s a biblical pattern. I don’t really want to use the word mentor, because it sounds so formal, it’s really just purposed friendship. Look at many of the great people of the Bible and you’ll see it. Abraham befriended Lot his nephew. Moses Befriended Joshua and led him to leadership. Jonathan, King Saul’s son befriended David and made way for his destiny to be fulfilled, while sacrificing himself. David had a host of misfit “mighty men” that he befriended and changed their lives forever. Elijah Befriended Elisha. Eli raised Samuel. Jesus had a close friendship with the twelve disciples. Barnabus befriended Paul, and John Mark who wrote the Gospel of Mark. Paul befriended Timothy, Silas, Titus, Philemon, Aquila and Priscilla, and many others. It all comes down to one question. Do we care enough, to get out of our comfort Zone, to think beyond our immediate family, to be inconvenienced, or to realize there are people who need us?

Do you think that Barnabus knew what Paul would become to the church and the Christian movement? I don’t think he did. I think he just genuinely cared about this outcast individual. Do you think that Paul had some kind of Guarantee that Timothy would turn out to be such a force in the New Testament church. I think he hoped he would, but there are no guarantees. I believe that Paul genuinely cared about Timothy. Jesus knew that Judas would betray him; He knew that peter would deny him; He knew that all the disciples would run, in His greatest moment of trial, but he genuinely cared for them anyway.

Caring moves us to action. It causes us to go outside the norm. Do we care? Do we care for the child who has no defender, who is being treated unjustly? Yes, We do. That’s why we are doing the Royal family Kids camp, for Foster Kids and abused kids. Do we care for Young women who are at a disadvantage in life because of whatever set of circumstances? Yes we do that’s why we have “Rescue the girls” ministry. Do we care for men who have gone to prison, and because of outreach been saved there, and need help assimilating back into society, and need discipleship. Yes we do, that’s why men in our church are partnering with a local organization to mentor ex-prisoners. Do we care for underprivileged kids around the globe, yes that is why we have major initiatives in Fortaleza Brazil through compassion international and involved with the Hope RWANDA, and 08 missions includes partnering with Watoto in Uganda, and Hagar House in Cambodia. We have Youth America summer camps every year because we care for the teenagers of this nation.

The question is do we care for our neighbor across the street? Do we care for our coworkers? Do we care for that family member that’s lost? Do we care enough that we’ll contend with awkwardness in order to reach them? Do we care about that person at church that may set down the row from us, who are on the fringe and need help growing spiritually? I believe we do.

Let this blog today become an action plan for our lives, to consciously care for other people. Let’s go beyond the extra mile. If we care enough we’ll do it. So, this week begin a relationship and show someone how much you care.

-David Gadberry

American Christian…

After our trip to Cambodia last august, where we witnessed an extraordinary group of Christians who live their entire life for Christ.  He is truly the center of their existence.  They don’t have him i a compartment or say this is my “God Life” and “this is the rest of my life.”  It really challenged us as Christians to ask ourselves are we truly committed to the cause of Jesus Christ.  To His love, His grace, and to His Gospel?

A young Friend of mine, made this statement to me after we returned home.  He said, “I have realized that American Christians are more American than Christian.”  What a profound thought.  Have we allowed our culture as Americans to become more important to us than our Christianity, have we become the epitome of the Christ words when he said the Gospel could be choked out of our lives as a result of the deceitfulness of riches and the cares of this life?  I Know that some have, many for that matter, but I believe that God is raising up a new breed of believer, who really cares more for the cause of Christ than any other thing in their lives, and its this Cause that informs and influences every other area of life.  Jesus, let us be as Christians what you intended, that is my prayer.

David