Something to Say About Leadership…It’s all about perspective

A great lesson I’ve learned over the years is all people see life through certain filters, or lenses. Our lives are truly a vision of the perspectives we have. Many people can’t seem to get ahead in life, because they see themselves as a victim, so they view life from that perspective. Everything that happens, every relationship, every opportunity, every rejection to them is about the fact that everyone is against them, they are doing their best and people are just keeping them down. It’s amazing what a little perspective change can do. Simply shifting the “way” we see things, can have a profound effect on our lives.

I believe there’s a cycle here. The cycle works this way. We have certain perspectives, view points (the point from which we see things). Our perspectives effect our view, which effects our thoughts. Our thoughts effect our actions. Our actions solicit responses, and those responses bring reinforcement to our perspectives.

Let me give you an example. If a person thinks that others don’t like them, then when they go to pubic gatherings, they are usually reserved, shy, disconnected. This action sends out a vibe that says don’t approach me, so people in response stay back, and this reinforces in that persons mind, “see, I knew people didn’t like me, I should have just stayed home.” Is there truth to this, no. There is no evidence that people don’t like them. They are just stuck in the cycle of fear of rejection, because they have a perspective, for whatever reason that they are not liked. Maybe it was a rejection by a parent, maybe it was betrayal by a friend in their youth. Who knows, but their perspective has them trapped.

On the other hand if you have a person who thinks everyone likes them, their actions speak of confidence and openness, the response is people are drawn to them, and it reinforces their thought, “see, I knew it, every one likes me.”

In either of these situations the fact that people do or don’t like them, doesn’t matter, what matters is their perspective. Because they will behave in ways directed by the way they see things, and their behavior will evoke a response, and the response will reinforce their perspective.

You can see how important perspective is. How do you see your life? What are the filters you see through? What perspectives need to change or even be done away with? If we’re going to lead, then we need to make sure our perspectives are not driven by insecurity. We can’t see the world through fear, and expect to be successful leaders.

There are two places this cycle can be broken. One is in a person changing their perspective, another is in people responding in love to a person regardless of their actions, which can break the cycle and give them a new perspective. Both of these are acts of leadership, and both of these take massive amounts of courage and security. We can do it!

What are perspective shifts you’ve had? How did they effect your life?

Next blog, we will talk about the next step towards security.

thanks
David

Something to say about Leadership

Over 20 years ago I began my journey as a leader. My Journey if far from over. I still have much to learn, and haven’t begin to tap into the true potential that could be realized in my life. I wish I could say that I have reached some sort of pinnacle, but what I have found to be true at the age of forty, is that those who think they have reached the top, really haven’t, but have left themselves no where to go but down.

True, effective leaders are always growing, and developing themselves, and everyone around them. A true leader gives the benefit of their growth to those following them.

I am going to attempt over the next few weeks to blog each day on an issue of leadership. Over the last two decades I’ve read many books, I’ve attended many conferences. I have had the privilege of setting under the ministry of some of the greatest leaders out there and had the opportunity to meet them and set and listen to them.

Over this time I have gleaned enormous amounts of resource, but to be honest this is not where I’ve received most of my leadership “education.” In those settings I learned principles, and leadership thoughts, but it has been in the everyday activities of leading alongside the leaders over me, beside me, and those following me, where I have learned the most. Not because they knew more than the experts, but because we were putting into practice those things we learned.

In this series of blogs I am not going to try to tell you all the principles of leadership that will work for you. I am going share with you experiences in my own life, and in the lives of leaders I’ve watched rise, and fall.

There are things that kill Leadership. Enemies of leadership. Most of them are not external. They are not an enemy from without, but an enemy from within. Pretense, Fear, Jealousy, competition, envy, pride and Greed. All of these, everyone of them, can be summed up in one word, “INSECURITY.” In my mind the greatest Killer of leaders and our influence. Insecurity is sneaky, its often hidden, its always revealed under pressure, and ultimately it will choke the life of leadership out of any leader who doesn’t remove it.

As I write these next few blogs, I hope it will reveal places of insecurity in us and help us to understand there is a way to overcome it. Our leadership can thrive! Our Potential can be realized! We can be Secure, confident, happy, and content, and at the same time very influential.

stay tuned….

We can do something…

In the last blog I gave some thoughts and statistics that are really staggering, heartbreaking, and shocking.  Several people responded and most said what most say.  They were outraged, irritated, and frustrated, then went on to say, someone has to do something.  What can we do?

A few years ago, when I became aware of the sex trade, and the unyielding problems that come with hiv/aids internationally the effects of war, and poverty, and the lack in underdeveloped nations, it profoundly effected me.  I always knew about these problems, but you can know, and not really “know.”  I knew mentally, but had never seen it for myself, and I have to say its way to easy for us as Americans to bury our head in the sand and just deny what goes on around the world, and even in the impoverished areas of our own nation.  People think if they just ignore it, it doesn’t exist, but when i took my first trip to Cambodia there was no denying the travesty that exists, and no ignoring the roaring voice in my mind that yelled, “DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!”

My mind realed, i was thinking about all the problems.  starvation, poverty, disease, war, children being orphaned, the sex trade, and so much more, and for a moment i just became overwhelmed.  I was thinking, this is horrible but what can I do?  I mean, really what can I do?  Then I adopted a new thought.  “I can’t do everything, but  I can do something, but what I will never do, is nothing!”

So we have been doing something.  You can read in previous blogs some of the things we are doing, and in future blogs what we are going to do, but I want to give you some thoughts, on how to do something.

Whether local, regional, national, or global you can do something.

1.  make up your mind you will do something. Something, meaning anything that you have the power to do.  Many people do nothing because they think if they can’t do something huge it wont make a difference.  The truth is most of what is making a difference in the world today are things that started by someone saying, i will do what i can, and just grew from there.

2.  Wake yourself up, and those around you up to the need, and take responsibility for it. If everyone is thinking someone else will do it, then no one will.  It takes all of us doing what we can, when we can, where we can, to effect a change.

3.  Brainstorm what you can do. Don’t think that the answer to everything is merely money.  We have lots of resources that are based on talents, and time, and not just treasure.  Yes it takes money but you can do things that make a difference that don’t cost a lot.  Its at least a place to start, and remember our resources go a lot further in the third world than they do here.

4.  Become a partner. Nothing significant will ever be done on any level without partners.  We need each other.  Others need you and you need them.  We all bring something different and good to the table, and working together gets more done than trying everything on our own.  We are developing partners all over the world.

5.  Make people aware. I used to think awareness efforts were a waste of time.  I would say, people need to quit talking and start doing something about it.  Then I realized that with our ability to ignore things awareness is very important.  To do what we do we need financial partners and we have learned that people are motivated by getting a revelation of what is really happening, rather then us just saying we need help.  People need to know that little girls and boys are being sold and bought for sexual perversion.  People need to know that people have no medical care, or no education, or no hope because of corruption or poverty.    When we make people aware it incites a riot on the inside of them, it turns their world upside down and demands action.

6.  Don’t get frustrated when people aren’t as motivated as you about these needs. It takes time and your frustration will only negatively effect you and put an edge on you that will repel people not attract them to help you.

So those are some things I think about.  Just remember you can do something.  So do it.

David

leadership is universal…

This year again I am so blessed by the pastors and leaders here in Rwanda, they truly want change, and are hungry to know better how to lead and develop leaders.

We had a great conference today, we have with us a friend from Uganda Pastor Samuel who brought a team of guys that sing and dance. They are amazing! High Energy. Just the way we like it at harvest.

Owen spoke for a few minutes on radical change, we are being flexible as our itinerary seems to be the most fluid thing here. Its really funny they are trying to get us into as many things as they can.

I spoke a message this morning on the heart of God. This afternoon on a spirit of Excellence. We had a Q and A which never fails to amaze me. Their questions are intense and they are hungry for true training and answers.

The leaders here are like leaders everywhere else. They need validation, they need encouragement, they need inspiration, and direction.

So what’s next? Tomorrow more leaders conference, then we go to an orphanage and fit them all who need it with glasses and take them food. Then tomorrow night starting at 9 pm our Next generation meeting. Which we found out today is an all nighter. Fortunately we get to go back after a few hours to sleep for the next day of conference. We will be in different churches on Sunday. Monday starts the medical clinic and Owen and I get to meet with the rector of the nations leading Law School, more to come. Please continue to pray for the teams strength. We are having a great time.

Please respond when you read these and be blessed.

Listening….

I’ve noticed that if you listen you will here things that are remarkable. I am setting here at “the hotel Rwanda” and listening to my friend Pastor Jackson Tell my team his testimony about how he started his church, how he went from being an accountant to being a pastor. He just started helping people, he started putting together proposals to govt and to governments in other countries to build programs to help kids and families. I noticed as we came over on the plane listening to lots of people who were coming over to africa to help the African people. There are so many people helping others in the world. We will visit the museum and an orphanage tomorrow, testing kids for HIV. We will be starting the leadership conference tomorrow. Pray for us, there are so many leaders and pastors over here who are hungry for teaching and training. They want help, they want to grow, they want to make a difference, especially the young generation.

take a minute and listen to those around you and see what you hear. You may hear what God is doing in the lives of others. Take a minute and let me know what God is doing in your life.

overcoming frustration

Many times in the forty years of my life i have battled with frustration. The feeling that things just aren’t working out. The irritation that I’m trying hard to accomplish something and for some reason it just isn’t happening. The consternation that comes with expecting certain responses and results from people and them not living up to it, or worse, expecting big things from myself and not being able to meet a goal, or complete a task or get the results i was aiming at.

Frustration is a killer, its the step before discouragement and depression. Frustration unresolved steals motivation and momentum from your life, and brings everything to a halt. It opens the door to bitterness and offense in our lives, which lead no where but to negative circumstances.

So what is frustration really. Frustration is the difference between Expectation and reality. You expect your kids to behave a certain way, and in reality they are not perfect. Everything between the two is frustration. You expect to be at a certain level in your career by a certain time, but you don’t make it. The difference between what you expected and where you really are is frustration.

Given that life is imperfect, and there will be many times when our reality doesn’t line up with our expectations, how do we keep from being overrun with frustration?

The common Mistake we make is to get focused on our reality. There is nothing wrong with evaluating your reality, or being honest about it, but if we get to obsessed with it, or focused on it, especially in light of its deficiencies in relation to our expectations we will be overcome by frustration.

The answer is to keep our eyes forward, looking forward towards our expectations, moving forward towards stated goals, thinking forward in the direction of our vision, focused on where we are going, not where we have come from.

Expectations are powerful, we should set them high and shoot for them, and as long as we stay focused on that, then at some point our expectations will become our reality. Frustration can destroy that from happening.

Overcome frustration. Focus on your expectations.

David

20 years…

As I sit here this morning reflecting on life,  and my  place in the world, (sounds deep right) what else are you gonna due when you wake up this early on Sunday morning.  I think  of last Tuesday August 12.  Last tuesday was a marker in my life.  A twenty year marker.  As of last tuesday, my wonderful wife Janae and I have been married for 20 years.  I know, I know we look way to young for that, at least thats what we tell ourselves.  We got married when we were 19, now i wouldn’t change this, but I don’t necessarily recommend it.

We were talking the other about what this means, all that we’ve gone through, the ups and downs, the extremely good times, and the extremely bad times.  A lot can happen over 20 years.  There have been times we have been so mad at each other we just wanted to give up, and quit on marriage.  There have been times when we had such difficulty that we couldn’t imagine how we would have made it without each other.  There have been such great times we have been elated to be together.

God has truly blessed us, by surrounding us with people who give us great examples of how to last.  He has taught us through his word, about what a great marriage really is, and how it works.

How do you do 20 years?  Love, no not that fuzzy feeling stuff we call love, but true love.  Love that considers the other person more than self, love that wants the success of the other, love the supersedes frustration, anger, or discontentment.

How do you do it?  communicate, talk to each other, my wife, even if she is the one im mad at is the first person I turn to, I am the same for her.  We are partners.  It doesn’t hurt that Janae is the greatest person I know, and has more true love and care and wisdom in her little pinky then the majority of people i’ve met in life.

How do you do it?  Believe in each other.  Realize that God has gifted each of you, that He has a purpose for each of you, and has put you together to realize that purpose, not the least of which is to train your children to become great people.  Support one another.  My greates cheerleader is Janae, and I’m hers.

How do you do it?  don’t let anger rule in your house.  Care more about unity than you do about making your point.  Remember you are parnters not enemy combatents.

How?  Most importantly Keep Jesus at the center of your life.  Not a side note, not thing we do, but truly our relationship with Jesus is what holds us together. Oh, to some 20 years is nothing, they’ve got 40, 50, even 60 years and we are striving for that.  We love each other more now than we ever have, we understand each other now, more than ever, I would never want to llive my life without her, she is my life.  To us 20 years is a great mark, and we’re ready for 100 more.  We are partners, our family is a team, and we are going somehwhere.  We focus on thriving, not surviving, and we realize nothing is so bad, that we can’t overcome it with God’s help.

I love Janae Gadberry, and I truly believe that God gave her to me as a gift, to help my life unfold according to his plan, and I hope that i’ve been that same gift to her.

So there you have it….twenty years…Its been fun, but the best is yet to come!

David

A world Class Team…

a world class team…. What a great two days we have had in the pastors conference, it has been a great experience. These pastors really want to make change, they really want to do great things, and they are so teachable, they are soaking it up. Tomorrow is my last day here in rwanda, then I go uganda to join the other team.

Can I just say, thank you pastor Kirk and Nancy. Thanks for being great leaders and teaching our people so well. This Rwanda Team is just incredible, harvest has the greatest people. Chad, Angeliegh, Roberta, Christa, Cameron, Chrystal, Stephanie, Cindy, Susie, and of course Bryson and Siearra. They have worked so hard they relate so well with the people here and they have spoken and they have been so great. We have such depth and true leadership in culture in our people. They are heros. Doing something to change the world.

We had right at 100 different pastors there today, all representing different churches. They were like sponges. It was emotionally overwhelming because the just draw it out of you.

Tomorrow we will be training childrens leaders, and pastors again, then having services for everyone. Sunday the team will be in churches as I travel to Uganda.
Monday we will start the medical clinics, and conduct those through the end of the week. God is so good, and we are priveledged to work for Him. If you are family of this team know that they are thinking of you, and you should be so proud of the work they are doing.

Chad spoke about connecting generationally
Angeliegh about reaching outside rwanda
Cameron about no limit living, no excuses, taking responsability
Roberta spoke on the value and importance of the local church, that girl can preach
Chrystal spoke on doing reaching out against injustice
Christa spoke on the importance of Childrens ministry in the church

Tomorrow
Cindy, Stephanie and suzie will be speaking. This has been so good for them and for the people receiving.

I look forward to meeting up with the uganda team and work with them for a few days. I heard from misty that it is goig well. They have truly been impacted already.

Continue praying for us, believe God to use us to do more than we thought possible.

Africa is an absolutely beautful place and the people are some of the most endearing in the world.

God is good….I’m not doing many pictures because the internet here is very slow, We will put them up when we get home and you can see it all.

-David

An eye opening experience

Yesterday was incredible! We started the day with an early breakfast, and a small meeting as a team, just to talk about the day and what our expectations were and the attitude we wanted to take so we would be the most effective in our ministry to these wonderful people.

After eating we boarded the van to go to a group home for Rwanda survivors. These are homes that are set up with extended family members who come together to help one another. This particular home had several young adults and teenagers, cousins who lost all of their immediate family and were helped by having this home provided for them and receiving support to be able to function. These kids were all trying to get their education and were helping each other live. There were children and early teens and young adults. 32 People in this house. It’s better than nothing, but it’s no near enough space. They are still facing difficulties like money for education, transportation for education and work, and money for medical bills.

We met with them as a team, and after the formal introductions and a bit of small talk, we ask them to tell us their story, one 23 year old young man stood up and begin to speak. He was very unassuming and humble and maybe a little intimidated. I will tell you now the story he told is hard to imagine, hard to even think about, never the less he actually lived it.

He was about 9 years old when the genocide came into full effect, and he was in his home with his mother and Dad and his two sisters. The soldiers busted down the door, they came to kill the family. According to his account they chased his mother and father around the house with machetes and killed them. They then proceeded to chase down his two sisters and killed them both. They came back and got the young boy, and built a coffin in front of him, and told him we are going to bury you in that coffin alive, in fear of such a tortuous death he ran for his life. He hid in the woods and waited to see if it was safe. They had a practice of burning the wooded areas and all the refugees would run out of hiding, when they thought they would burn to death. That’s what they did that day. So when it started burning he ran out of hiding and continue to run, until he ran into a lady who said she would help him, she told him not to worry, then she started berating him for his race, she threw him on the ground and said you are worth nothing, I know this is graphic but true, she then proceeded to urinate on him as if to say you are lower than human waste. She then had him beaten and cut and he showed us scars on his arms and legs and head where he was cut with a machete. They then pulled this nine year old boy who had just watched his mom and dad and two sisters massacred, stripped him of his clothes and tied him in the crucifixion position to a tree, and beat him, and left him for dead, to make sure he would die they set him on fire, then left. Amazingly the fire burned through the ropes and he was spared, when the ropes burned and ran to safety.

As we set listening to the young man it was hard to believe he was standing there in front of us even able to communicate such an occurrence. Can you imagine what this must have done to the mind of an impressionable nine year old boy.

They were made to feel like trash, lower than trash, like nothing. Like they didn’t matter, they were referred to as cockroaches.

As we listened the Lord prompted me to tell them the story of Joseph and how he was abused betrayed and was completely innocent, and how God had given him a vision, and I related to them that God has a plan and purpose for their lives as well, and they should hold on to that and move forward. We then prayed for those who were still suffering physically and emotionally from things that happened during that time, three of them had been shot and still suffer physically as a result.

Pastor Jackson, a man of faith and an excellent spirit is a great visionary and he and his church provide for this home and 23 others. The Church is alive and Well in Rwanda.

We then proceeded back to our meeting hall and had a great first day of conference. The people are wonderful, and have a true heart for God. We did worship, several of our team shared, and I spoke on the identity of being a child of God. The one thing that this nation struggles with is identity. We declared, you are Christian this is your identity, which transcends the thoughts or limitations that man puts on us.

We had a great time with the team and some pastors that with us to hang out, we had some great bacon cheeseburgers, yep that’s right, right here in Kigali. Things are going well, our team is awesome, let me say people of harvest are just a different breed and really live to serve.

Today we start the pastor’s portion of the conference and we hope to help them with church growth, reaching out and leadership development.

-David

Did you change the world today?

Just about every evening, my wife Janae and I will ask each other, “did you change the world today?” Most of the time when people think about changing the world we think in terms of massive amounts of money, major world shaking projects, and political power and influence. What I have found to be true however is that most major world changing goes on every day with normal people who decide to live their lives with purpose and passion about making a difference today.

I am a Pastor and my wife is a teacher, so our occupations put us in position to truly, effectively change the world. The truth is however, I know a lot of pastors, and teachers who are passing up opportunities to change the world. We can all effectively change things for the better, but it is not something that happens automatically, or without intention and purpose.

A pastor can have opportunities to bring change, but get busy with urgent unimportant activities, and have day after day go by not having changed anything, or brought help to anyone. A teacher can get caught up in the day to day, and even be resentful of parents who wont help or kids who wont behave, and just do “the job.”

Every day everyone of us, no matter what we do, have opportunities to bring change, to help someone, to raise the bar, to care, to love, to change the world.

My wife works in a school system with great need. She has been working with her second graders on a presentation they were going to make. They had to make a report get their parents involved, and then present it in front of the class and their parents.

As it drew near many of them, because of the lack of parental involvement, didn’t appear to be ready. She could have given in to the status quo and accepted it as the norm, instead she made an impassioned plea to the kids, and let them know her expectations, and because she has spent time loving them, and going the extra mile caring for them, it has created an atmosphere of trust and respect. They arrived on presentation day and did an outstanding job. She has created in these kids a desire to learn.

Kids in these situations are many times aware of things that never enter the mind of kids who aren’t living in poverty. They’re aware of facts like “no one in their family graduating from high school or going to college.” She has inspired many of them in second grade to say, “I will finish high school and I will go to college.”

She has also brought a great change in many of the parents, getting more active with their kids, realizing how special their children are, and becoming proud of their accomplishments. She has a word for these kids who have been beat down, and had very little expectations placed on them. She calls them scholars, she says to them, “you are my scholars, you are brilliant, and you will succeed.”

So do what you can today, and when you go home tonight ask your loved ones, “did you change the world today?” With a little effort we can say, “yes, I did.”

-David