overcoming frustration

Many times in the forty years of my life i have battled with frustration. The feeling that things just aren’t working out. The irritation that I’m trying hard to accomplish something and for some reason it just isn’t happening. The consternation that comes with expecting certain responses and results from people and them not living up to it, or worse, expecting big things from myself and not being able to meet a goal, or complete a task or get the results i was aiming at.

Frustration is a killer, its the step before discouragement and depression. Frustration unresolved steals motivation and momentum from your life, and brings everything to a halt. It opens the door to bitterness and offense in our lives, which lead no where but to negative circumstances.

So what is frustration really. Frustration is the difference between Expectation and reality. You expect your kids to behave a certain way, and in reality they are not perfect. Everything between the two is frustration. You expect to be at a certain level in your career by a certain time, but you don’t make it. The difference between what you expected and where you really are is frustration.

Given that life is imperfect, and there will be many times when our reality doesn’t line up with our expectations, how do we keep from being overrun with frustration?

The common Mistake we make is to get focused on our reality. There is nothing wrong with evaluating your reality, or being honest about it, but if we get to obsessed with it, or focused on it, especially in light of its deficiencies in relation to our expectations we will be overcome by frustration.

The answer is to keep our eyes forward, looking forward towards our expectations, moving forward towards stated goals, thinking forward in the direction of our vision, focused on where we are going, not where we have come from.

Expectations are powerful, we should set them high and shoot for them, and as long as we stay focused on that, then at some point our expectations will become our reality. Frustration can destroy that from happening.

Overcome frustration. Focus on your expectations.

David

Expectations…

I find in life, that much of the time we get what we expect. Especially in dealing with people. People have this uncanny way of responding to each others expectations.

I love the story of the teacher of the year, who was given average kids and told they were cream of the crop, and so she prepared in the summer and came to that classroom with the highest of expectations. She challenged them and pushed them to their limits, the limits of the cream of the crop.

The students responded by achieving great scores, better than any other class including the class of real overachievers. At the end of the year she was told that the kids were not overachievers but academically average, and she couldn’t believe it.

Great lesson to be learned here, we get what we expect. Our expectations cause us to behave in such a way that evokes a response. If our expectations are low, then the results will follow suit, but if we raise those expectations the results will be phenomenal. We get what we expect.

I’m expecting great things, what about you?

Next blog…”overcoming frustration..the difference between expectation and Reality.”

David

Friends in all kind of places…

I think we live in a most interesting time. I love the whole social networking, micro blog, and blogging scene. I have friends from all over the nation and the world. Friends that I probably never would have spoken to again. Friends who I know but rarely communicate with. It was funny the other day, I was literally talking to someone in the states, someone in Uganda, and Someone in Cambodia all at the same time.

A lot of people try to resist technology but I think we should embrace it, and use the tools we have to benefit others.

A good friend is a precious commodity.

So join the fun, connect with others.

I’m 40 years old and i have reconnected with a friend I went to Kindergarten with. How cool is that. Have you reconnected with friends, or family

I have something to say

Check, check….testing 1,2,3…is this thing on? Everybody listen up….I have something to say.

Human trafficking is a plague on our globe, the trading of human lives, human beings especially children for abusive labor practices and the sex trade, forced prostitution.

I say this in this way, to get attention. Every year when I travel to different places i see this problem. Its brought on by poverty, by corruption, by greed. Whatever the reason is its an emergency that everyone do what they can to stop it. I have realized that it is so easy for us to see reports about this and hear stories about it, and be completely enraged, but then easily put it out of our mind. So this is me saying, wake up, listen, pay attention, don’t forget that right now, while you are free, there are children that are slaves of mean spirited pimps who farm them out to perverted people to do horrible sexually perverted and physically abusive things to them.

Be reminded that as you eat with your family tonight, that they have been yanked out of the bosom of their family to by isolated and abused. Just think when your kids lay in their clean beds tonight, they will sleep if they can, in filth and poverty and hunger, after they have been forced to sale their bodies any where from 10 to 40 times a day.

As you look at your teenager tonight remember that the average age for a girl in the sex trade today is 14

Check, check, is this thing on? So lets do what we can. What we are doing is partnering with organizations who are involved with rescuing efforts and with after care efforts. We also realize that children who are captive to human trafficking or usually victims of poverty, and have lost their family’s. So we are building orphanages, and we are working with medical clinics, and we are partnering with local churches and leaders to reach out and help these children, with food, clothing, medical care, ministry and education.

We can’t do everything, but we can do something, and what we will never do, is nothing.

Just a reminder, its something I’m very passionate about, and want people to take a moment to remember.

Thank you, and good night.

David

Be encouraged

Just an encouragement to everyone. No matter what’s going on around us, fear does not help. Fear is a destructive force and only makes things worse.

One of my favorite scriptures has to do with overcoming fear. Romans 8:15 says we have not been given the spirit of Bondage again to fear, but the spirit of adoption whereby we cry abba father.

Several good things in this scripture. The first is it refers to fear as a bondage. The best description for fear is bondage. Fear binds your life, it paralyzes you or it pushes you into bondage because of bad decisions. Most decision based on fear are the worse decisions. It says the reason we should not fear is because of what we have been given. The grace of God. God has adopted us into his family. We all as children, when faced with a bully, would say, my dad is bigger than your dad, in this case its true. We have been adopted, God is the greatest and most and truly if God is my father, my dad, my abba, then why should I be afraid? He owns everything, He’s bigger than it all, His love and compassion far surpass any problems we may go through.

So be encouraged, if God cares for the sparrows, and flowers of the field and has set up the process for them to be provided for, how much more does He care for us.

Don’t be afraid, your daddy’s got your back.

Help Taylor…

The word proud is incapable of describing the way I feel about my daughter Taylor. Don’t misunderstand, Taylor is a normal 14 year old girl. She is not perfect, but she is remarkable. Her heart for people is unmatched by most adults I know. Her desire to change the world is real, and her passion is palpable.

I and her mother have raised her to believe in, and live for the Cause of Christ. We’ve told her that nothing is more important than the grace of God, and that everyone should know about it. Thank God she has taken this to heart.

Many of our good friends have seen the potential in her and have believed in and supported her in many ways. This has bolstered her confidence and stirred her passion. Her pastors and mine, Kirk and Nancy Pankratz have always been so kind, supportive and encouraging to her.

All of this has culminated in her life, to cause her to want to answer Gods call. 2 or so years ago I went to Cambodia for the first time, in our global reach to bring hope and the Gospel to people who so desperately need it. From the moment she saw the pictures and heard the stories she vowed, “I will go to Cambodia!”

A few years ago when Taylor was younger our friend Chris Cain said to her “Taylor your a world changer” she took that to heart and while on a trip to Florida at eight years old She was nervous on the plane. It was her first time to fly. My wife Janae said, “taylor are you nervous?” I will never forget her response, she said, “yes mom, but if i’m going to be a world changer, than I can’t be afraid to fly.” Yuu know, that my sound silly, and maybe a little over dramatic to say, but the truth is, she has for years seen herself as a person who will change the world. She has dreamed of reaching people all over the globe. I have no doubt that she will. She went to Mexico last year, and had a very successful trip with our youth group, and we have decided that she’s old enough to branch out and go with Dad on this years trip to Cambodia.

Taylor’s trip is going to cost $4200, she has already raised over $600 babysitting, and has a huge garage sale planned, but she will need more help to get it all covered.

If you would like to help support Taylor fulfill her dream, and give her a start, really to the rest of her life, of what I believe will be one world changing adventure after another please email me, david.gadberry@harvestokc.com, or send me a message on my facebook page, from there i can instruct you on the procedure to give to her trip. Which is tax deductable.

Thanks in advance for considering to help propel the dream of a teenage world changer.

Sincerely

David

Fishing…

This week is spring break where we live so I have decided to take a few days off to relax and be with the family. I truly enjoy being with my girls. They are so sweet and funny, and our family dynamic is a great.

I have some friends that have invited me to fish tomorrow, I am so excited. I feel like a kid, i won’t be able to sleep tonight. Is that crazy? I’m almost giddy. As I go through my fishing equipment I realize why.

I just remembered I need to go get a license, but then I thought, I have one in my tackle box it hasn’t been that long, maybe its still good. I opened the box, and looked at the license to find that it expired December of 2005.

I haven’t been fishing, sense 2005. Life is precious, and I love every minute of it. I have the fortunate circumstance to love what I get to do for a living, but even when you love what you do for a living, every once in a while you need to be refreshed, you need to relax you need to recharge. That’s not to say that I haven’t been on vacation in that length of time because I have, but I love to fish, it is something that truly refreshes, I should and am going to do it more often, it will benefit me and those around me. A wise man once said to me, “the best gift you can give to those around you, is a healthy you.” Even God rested, and set as a precedent that we should rest too. Find something you love, and every once in a while, take some good friends and have at it.

“fish on”

What refreshes you? Let me know, others may benefit from hearing it.

Thanks
David

“Recieve”

“Receive”….blog I wrote in 2006

If we’ll notice there are times in life that we’re more receptive than others. This should really be a lesson for us. It seems that all people are more receptive when life is brought to its basic simple reality. We live and we die, and then life after death. When people are brought face to face with mortality it’s amazing how receptive we become. I have very distinct memories when I was 20 years old, watching George Bush Sr. Declare war in the gulf coast to save Kuwait from its impending doom at the hands of Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The very next weekend our church which already had great attendance was at full capacity. In our church we could seat about 700 people including the balcony. We usually ran in attendance around 400 adults. That weekend every seat was full including the balcony, it was amazing. People we hadn’t seen in a while were at church, we had many first time guest and they were there to connect with God. People who were once a month or twice a month people all of a sudden became faithful attendees. It was a moment where we were faced with our mortality. Faced with the fact that our lives could change drastically, faced with the question are we safe? The sad part is that although we did grow overall, after a few weeks, slowly but surely people began to go back to their normal routines, God was no longer as important as He was in those moments that we desperately needed Him. I see this every time I preside over a funeral, every time I counsel someone who is in a moment of reality. I saw this Friday night, as I stood on the front lawn of Mitchell Hall on the University of Central Oklahoma Campus, as we honored the memory of an incredible young woman who was a member of our church, Hannah McCarty. They were unveiling a beautiful piece of art in her memory and to honor the scholarship that has been established in her name. What a great honor it was for me to be able to share in that moment. The head of the arts department Dr. Clinton presided over the ceremony, The president of the College, Dr. Webb was there and addressed the crowd, Jack and Pam sent out a clear message with their speech that Hannah’s life was so meaningful and continues to have meaning because of her relationship with Jesus Christ, as they say and I’m sure you’ve seen on city buses, “when you know Jesus the dance never ends.” Hannah was a prolific dancer, more importantly though she was a prolific Christian. I had the wonderful privilege of being the last speaker and had the opportunity to close in prayer. I hope that I represented Hannah and the McCarty’s and our church well in that moment, but most importantly I hope that I represented Jesus well. I simply told the truth. I told the crowd of it seemed like a couple of hundred people, how Hannah lived. She lived life with Passion and on purpose. I said to them she lived life to the full. “Many of us thinking living life to the full is filling our lives up with busyness and things, but she superseded that by living her life as busy as it was, with purpose. It wasn’t just about doing things but it was doing things on purpose.” I said.
I told them, “she looked her obstacles and problems and sickness in the eye, without complaint and simply said, I’m going to live anyway. The reason she had this Joy, the reason she had this peace, the reason she had this purpose, was her relationship with Jesus.” It was a great moment.
The context of this event was interesting, I’m sure that there were several Christians there, but there were also many very secular people there, but it was amazing how receptive everyone was. I didn’t feel a resistance at all as I spoke very clearly about Jesus Christ, I looked out on the crowd, and saw some smiling faces, some somber faces, and some faces caught in the act of introspection. Thinking over their lives, seemingly asking “am I living, really living?” It was a great moment. I am very proud for Jack and Pam, that Hannah was recognized in this way, but more importantly that they have taken a personal tragedy for them and turned it into a day to day ongoing outreach to people, who are getting saved and their lives changed. Pam told me that Hannah always said, I want to be responsible for at least one person going to heaven, and as Pam says, she has impacted many more than that.
It is very telling on us as humans that we are receptive at certain times more than others. It is very revealing when things are going well how easily we forget, how much we need Jesus and how unreceptive we become to His desires for us, and His purposes for our lives. If we could only find a way to tap into those moments of decision and understand how important it is for us to constantly and consistently be receptive to His spirit and His word.
We have been taught to be so cynical. Question everything, don’t believe anything, or believe everything. I don’t suggest that anyone go around blindly following others with no discernment. I think everything we see and hear and are a part of should be ratified by the word of God in us. Let us today make a commitment to God and to ourselves and to our church that we will be receptive. Receptive to the voice of God to His word and to His purpose for our lives. Why do we need to go about our own way until forced by circumstances to change our perspective, lets just keep a holy perspective and reverence for the things of God and watch Him use us to profoundly change our world. I am so grateful that even in our inconsistency and wavering God’s grace is sufficient, and He is not angry with us but longing for an close relationship with each of us.